Ephesians 5:22-24 "The Principle of Submission" pt.2

Introduction:

We are looking again at the Principle of Submission from Ephesians 5:22-24.

As I have been studying through this passage I have found myself grieving for the institution of marriage.

The reason is because of how far the culture has moved us in distorting God’s design of marriage.

Not hard to do because there are many examples of abuse or exploitation available in the world today.

But the one example that should be held up is not even mentioned in defense of marriage today.

We see it in our text this morning in verse 23 in a Parable of Contrast: Look back at your text:

I. A Parable of Contrast (23).

The contrast being established here in verse 23 is between a husband and his wife juxtaposed with Christ and the Church.

Like any good parable it is important to understand what is actually being communicated by the parable. The parable I am referring to is the living parable of marriage between a husband and his wife and the truth being communicated is in regards to the relationship between Christ and His Church.

Actually it would seem that it would be the other way around at first glance but remember that we are talking about lives that have been transformed by the Holy Spirit and then living out the practical implications of that transformation in marriage. But it is not just what has come before us in our context but also what comes after down in Ephesians 5:31-32 “31 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

So marriage is a living illustration that is reflective of God’s redemptive plan to establish relationship between Christ and the Church. And just think of all those people in the world and even in the Church that have no idea that marriage was designed by God primarily to illustrate His covenant plan of redemption. Most believe that marriage is primarily a practical institution to govern family as building blocks of society and culture. And a context for individual people to gain a sense of fulfillment in deep relationships with others for one’s own happiness and sense of well-being.

All of that may happen but it is secondary at best to the primary purpose of illustrating and pointing us to God’s glory revealed in His covenant redemption through Christ. Marriage has to be about something greater than you and your spouse or you will never experience it for what God designed it to be.

Notice that the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the Head of the Church. Now there are many who argue that this statement does not establish any kind of authority or rule over the wife. It is better to understand headship as denoting the idea of “source.” Much like we would speak of a river flowing from its head or source. Those who argue for such ideas in the Church are often referred to a egalitarians because of the notion of equality when it comes to the roles between men and women.

Same term is used in society to stress equality but in that context it is very different than the context of home and the Church. Paul is talking here about marriage as he uses the terms husband and wife not men and women.

Those who believe that God made male and female with distinct roles and responsibilities in the home and in the Church are referred to as complementarian. They believe that male and female are design to complement one another in their role and function. The PCA is a complementarian denomination as are most other conservative Christian denominations and independent churches.

Male headship was established by God. First in the creation order where He created man first and gave him a measure of authority and He then took a rib from man and formed woman as a helpmate to man. And it was God who established the institution of marriage by His divine decree in Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

This is actually quoted by the Apostle Paul down in verse 31. This is how we know that Paul does not have the cultural implications of Greek/Roman society in mind when it comes to marriage. He is thinking of Genesis 2 :24 and the design of God. When theologians start emphasizing Paul being predominately influenced by Greek culture they are usually getting ready to deconstruct the Apostle Paul and explain away the substance of what he is saying for cultural reasons of the Roman society of his day.

Paul was a Pharisee in his training. He was not being trained to teach sociology at the local community college. He was first and foremost a student of the Old Testament. Certainly he would have been taught the philosophies of ancient Greece but his primary thought and argumentation are from the Hebrew Scriptures. So his quote from Genesis 2:24 is very telling.

Male headship was established by God in the creation order but it was also reiterated in the curse on the woman after the fall of man in Genesis 3:16- To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

The fall into sin brought a whole new dynamic to the marriage relationship. We no longer have the institution of marriage with headship in innocence without conflict, now post fall we have the institution of marriage with fallen natures that are prone to assert self rule with male rule being established in the marriage. I mean what could go wrong with that. Sounds like a match made in heaven to me doesn’t it to you?

And you know what, if marriage is primarily about you and your perceived needs being met and not primarily about Christ and His glory being reflected in your marriage it is going to be a long hard road. Because by your own nature you will assert your will and desires over that of your spouse. This is the same thing the man and woman did in the face of God when they ate the forbidden fruit. Sin now has become something to contend with in the marriage relationship.

Husbands have been known to exercises headship out of their own selfish ambition. I know you may find that surprising but it is true. And often it can undermine how a wife feels about male headship being exercised in marriage. There may even be wives setting here right now listening to this sermon and resistant to what Scripture is teaching here to the point there are all kinds of negative emotions swirling around inside of you.

And the reason is that you can’t imagine how this could possibly work in your situation and in some situations it could be down right abusive. Some women long for true biblical headship to be exercised in the home but their husbands have abdicated their spiritual authority and responsibility in the home. And there are men who think they exercise it and they really don’t. They think that male headship primarily means that they give all the orders according to their own selfish desires in the marriage and the family instead of living out biblical headship to the glory of Christ.

A man who thinks he exercises biblical headship and yet he will not take the initiative to lead his family in the ways of the Lord doesn’t have a clue what biblical headship really is. And his wife will be totally reluctant to embrace the biblical model of male headship in the marriage.

To all the young and unmarried Ladies, The culture will tell you that if he looks hot and has a good job and a fat bank account and drives a sharp car he is worth a look as a potential husband. But Scripture would tell you that a man who fears the Lord and understands the gospel and is deeply in love with Christ is the only kind of man worth having. Ask God to grow a desire in you to long in expectation of a man of God to come into your life.

Daughters of the covenant hear me when I speak, the Lord knows His plans for you don’t sell yourself short. You are precious to Him if you desire a husband ask God to give you a man who fears Him as a husband to you. I have told my own girls it is better to remain single than it would be to marry a man who loves you more than he loves God. I have told them this because I know that Christ himself will be their husband and lead them by His Spirit. God doesn’t intend for every single person to marry. Some He has called to be single in order to use them in unique ways for gospel ministry for His glory.

You Sons of the covenant should ask God to give you a heart that is passionate for Him and a desire to lead your wife one day in such a way that is glorifying to Christ by being reflective of Him. When Christ and His glory is the goal and Christ headship is being reflected in the way the husband exercises headship and his wife is submissive to that headship this become a secure place for our sinful pride to be sanctified out of us. If you want a spouse that fears the Lord and that lives for God’s glory then aspire to live that way yourself before Christ. Don’t be a hypocrite where you expect your spouse to aspire to it but you have no desire to do it in your own life.

Wives submission is not a demeaning concept in the Christian worldview. When the two persons become one there is a similarity that can be seen in the Godhead. There are three persons in the Godhead who are co-equal and co-eternal. If we were to take just the relationship between the Father and the Son incarnate we would see co-equality with the Son incarnate being in voluntary submission to the Father as He lived on earth. And it would be a heresy to say that the Son is of less value and glory than the Father. The Son voluntarily submitted to the Father for the glorification of God.

God also designed the marriage union to be reflective of Himself. And as the little ones grow up in the family they get an example of a relational dynamic displaying the mystical union where mom and dad are distinct persons but one in unity.

Conclusion: But it extends even into the relationship of Christ with the Church as the family of God as Paul is describing in Ephesians 5:23. Remember we have already seen in Ephesians 2:4-7 “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”

Unbeliever, marriage is the reminder that you need relationship with Christ more than anything! Only God can extend to you His love and mercy to you in Christ. Believe the gospel!

Christian, in Christ and with Christ we are His body joined in a mysterious way to Christ in union with Him. And He is perfect and we are not. He would have every reason to divorce us but He doesn’t. He calls us again to the reality and sufficiency of His grace to us as His covenant people. He is even sanctifying our sinful pride out of us in the security and provision of His headship over us. And He call us to a deeper intimacy with Him.

We see His provision before us this morning represented in these elements. He loves us in spite of our failures and unfaithfulness. He comes holding out the restoration of His grace to us. In preparation of this table confess your sin to Him and receive from Him and eat from the provision of His table.

Let us examine our heart before the Lord. Let’s Pray! (No Closed)